In a quiet countryside farmhouse, Britain's vampires gather for their once-every-fifty-years meeting. Others will be joining them too; Sebastian Crockett, an unwitting Essex boy who thinks he's on a promise with sexy cougar Vanessa; and a detachment of Special Forces vampire killers who have bitten off more than they can chew. This is certainly going to be a night to remember... and for some of them it will be their last.

In 1918, with her husband working in the War office - and subsequently leaving the family - devoted mother Annie Lee takes her step-daughters and her own children to live in the idyllic Gloucestershire countryside, the youngest being the sickly Laurie, known as Loll. Here they witness two feuding matrons, Granny Trill and Granny Wallon and shelter a young army deserter hiding in the woods until his capture. At school Loll and his classmates are terrorized by the formidable teacher Crabby until hulking Spadge Hopkins literally puts her in her place. Far more important to Loll's schooldays are the captivating Burdock sisters, Jo and Rosie, and, as he grows into adolescence and beyond, eventually leaving home to seek his fortune, he samples the delights of cider with Rosie.